Grrl Power v. Feminism

Our myths about sex drive tell us that men are supposed to peak in horniness in their late teens, while women only reach their full libidinousness on the high side of thirty. A lot of us suspect that to the extent there’s any truth to this at all, it has a good deal less to do with biology, and more to do with the long and difficult road so many women have to travel to discover and accept their own sexuality. Slut-shaming and sexualization work together to make girls acutely conscious of others’ wants and expectations while shutting them off from their own desires. -hugoschwyzer.net

 Writing the post about Fair Game made me start poking around about something I have been curious about for a while.  Grrl Power v. Feminism. For the sake of this article I am focusing on the sexpot aspect of Grrl Power. I don't want any one to think that all women with tatoos and piercings are sexpots. That's a good way to get your ass handed to you at roller derby.
Grrl power, from my perspective, is about embracing that which is improper for a young lady. Many of those taboos embraced are associated with "sluts" making sexuality a part of the movement, even when they are not inherently sexual.  While feminism, again from my perspective, is more about being seen as people before gender. Feminism and Grrl Power are not mutually exclusive but it's interesting to look at them as trajectories.

One source of conflict is on the subject of pornography. In general, feminism frowns on it for being exploitative, while Grrl Power more or less embraces it (especially counter-culture sites like Suicide Girls). Feminist play down the importance of body image while pornography has broadened the idea of what is sexy.
The question is to whether or not pornography has been a net gain for women. The pre-net era is most likely a net loss while post-net is probably a gain. Once ANYONE was allowed to make smut viewable by anyone in the world, it became readily obvious that every body type was sexy to someone. Where would BBW be without internet porn?
The other side of this would be escalation of expectancy, where sexual acts that were once considered kinky are now considered the norm. One example is oral sex. A better example is anal sex in the gay community. According to sexpert Dr. Drew, anal sex was uncommon in the seventies. Over time it became the norm.

What I am concerned about is that the culture is shifting towards an expectation of women to be sexpots. That will not work for everyone and could be driven to a rapey extreme. One-sized-fits-all approach is a problem in general in our culture which is why seemingly opposites like Feminists and Grrls need to critique each other in less broad strokes (pun not intended).
We want it to be okay for women to embrace their sexuality, not pressure them to live out someone else's.