Strange bed fellows

Washington doesn't know how to react to the revolts in Egypt. Yeah the president is an asshole but he's OUR asshole. We probably shouldn't get into bed with despotic leaders. Occasionally, it does backfire like it did with Saddam Hussein. But for the sake of argument let's say we HAVE TO do business with some of these guys.

Dick Cheney, forever living up to his first name, continues to say that Egypt's president Mubarak is a friend of America. Though Mr. Mubarak looks really good for 82, and I'd love to know his secret, I don't think we should be calling him our friend. This simplistic world view of saying people are our friends or not our friends is exactly what got us into this situation.

Let me back up and explain what the situation is. America wants to be seen as a kind of superhero fighting for truth and justice across the globe, but we are 'friends' with some very supervillain-ish rulers. One of those rulers, Mubarak, is now having a revolts in his country. This puts America in the awkward position of having to choose between supporting our 'friend' or supporting 'democracy'. Especially when the tear gas the Egyptian government is using against protesters says right on the canisters "Made in America". The fear is that the revolt will end in anti-American forces rising to the top.

This could all be avoided if we didn't legitimize these despots by confusing our relationships as personal ones. America shouldn't have friends for the most part. Our territories can be our friends and maybe Canada (they seem really nice and they're right next door). Everyone else can yearn to be allies, or partners in various causes.

If America had a Facebook page, then it would be okay to 'friend' these leaders, but in any other context, we should not be confusing our relationships with these countries as friendships. America isn't a a person, no grown up will be offended, by not being friends with a concept.

PS
Obama's spindoctors all suck. Any criticism of us providing tear gas could have been answered with "Imagine if they didn't have the tear gas. It could be East Timor all over again." But I guess I'm glad they suck because now America will think twice before handing them over.